


A Familiar Dance, With Different Steps

by OdetoJoy87



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - Character Swap, Apocalypse, Aziraphale is a sad boy, Crowley just wants out, M/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Apocalypse, Pre-Apocalypse, Really wants to get back to Heaven, Self-Esteem Issues, They're both still the nanny and the gardener but like, but Warlock still loves them, the nanny's good and the gardener's bad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-09-19 07:20:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20327263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OdetoJoy87/pseuds/OdetoJoy87
Summary: You all know the story, but what if the story was different?What if the angel's name was Raphael, and the demon's name was Hedwig?





	1. Prologue

I’m sure you all know the story.

Aziraphale, the angel, and Crowley, the demon, team up to stop the 11-year-old Antichrist from starting Armageddon and the War to End All Wars. They succeed, for reasons that have nothing to do with them in the slightest, and the whole thing is narrated by an unbiased yet humorous and incredibly charismatic God. All that comes after is left to interpretation and speculation.

Most of you are reading this expecting one such speculation of the end of the story--and you, specifically, are seventy percent likely to be one such reader. You are also twenty-seven percent likely to be expecting a different story entirly, two-point-nine-nine percent likely to have no expectations at all (besides the expectation of a romance between the angel and demon), and point-zero-one percent likely to be confused as to how you ended up viewing this fanfiction after reading several works involving some rather extreme fetishes.

(Well, far lower than that, actually. It will only happen to one person, on the date September seventeenth in a year far in the future. It will be a glitch in the website that will take you to this work just as you’re reaching the good part in whatever you were reading previously, and you will promptly return to the work you were reading before. Agnes Nutter herself predicted it, though she never wrote such specifics in her book.)

But I digress; the point is, twenty seven percent of you are the closest to correct. However, it is not quite a different story entirely--in fact, much of the story remains the same. The angel and the demon team up to stop the 11-year-old Antichrist from starting Armageddon, and succeed due to reasons completely unrelated to them. However, this is still is a different world, with a different (yet equally charismatic) God, and one small yet crucial difference.

The angel is named Raphael, and the demon is named Hedwig.


	2. The Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where else would we start?

Let’s start at the beginning. As the original did, it starts (as it will end) with a garden, and an apple.

However, this time, it is the angel that births the Original Sin, though not of conscious intent. Raphael had been sulking, because he had been told by the Almighty herself that he asked too many questions, and hadn’t realized the Almighty simply wanted him to find his answers for himself instead of simply asking for them all. Regardless, he had been sulking by the Forbidden Tree, eating one of its fruit. It had no effect on him, of course; angels are direct creations of the Almighty, and know everything the fruit could offer them from the moment of creation. However, it made him feel better about his situation, as though one fruit could satiate his curiosity and he’d never have to worry about asking too many questions again.

What he hadn’t realized as he was eating was that Eve was watching him just a few feet away, behind some bushes. The sight of an angel in the Garden of Eden wasn’t anything new; angels would periodically stop by to ensure that everything was still perfect in God’s world. However, those angels usually came and went, and though Raphael was in charge of guarding the gate from the Fallen, he was meant to stay at his post, out of sight. To see him staying so long in the Garden, to see him _eating_ one of the Garden’s fruits, fascinated her. She recognized the fruit as one from the Forbidden Tree, but watching an angel eat it, she decided perhaps it wouldn’t be such a sinful act to eat one herself after all.

Later, once Raphael returned to his post, Eve took an apple and shared it with Adam. From there, events followed the way you remember them.

As Raphael watched Adam and Eve make their way out of the Garden alone from his post at the Gate, a black-and-white speckled owl landed on the gate next to him. Later, as humans began to create names for various species, this one would be called a Great Horned Owl, but at the time, all Raphael knew him as was a demon in an animal disguise.

However, after several minutes passed and the demon didn’t move, Raphael gathered the idea that it had no malicious intent. So, with nothing better to do, he struck up a conversation.

“Well, that went down like a lead balloon.”

The owl nearly jumped out of its skin in surprise. Once it regained itself, it took on a more humanoid form to respond. As the demon searched for words, Raphael took in the cropped raven hair and speckled black-and-white wings he manifested.

“Ah….I’m sorry, what?” he finally responded.

Raphael softly chuckled and turned his head to face the demon fully. “I said, that went down like a lead balloon,” he responded.

“Ah….yes, yes I suppose it did rather.” The demon nodded his agreement and turned away. “I don’t believe you...meant for that to happen, right?”

“‘Course not,” Raphael responded, turning away. After a brief pause, he quietly admitted, “....Doesn’t mean I’m sorry it happened, though.”

The demon turned to him, shocked. “What? But...it was a forbidden act. They taught themselves of sin, they lost their blissful ignorance!”

“And is that really so much of a bad thing?” Raphael shot back. “What’s so wrong with knowing things, anyway? Does the Almighty really just want Her creations to be stupid and blind?”

The demon tensed so much he nearly turned to stone. After a while, he quietly responded, “....You mustn’t say things like that. If you go too far out of line, you could be cast out.”

Raphael sighed. “Yeah...I know,” he responded. His tone was bitter, but it lacked the harsh bite it had just a second ago.

There was a long moment of silence before the demon finally spoke up again.

“I’m….I must say I’m surprised at you…” He took a moment to search for the angel’s name. “Raphael, is it?”

“The one and only,” Raphael said, turning back to the demon. “And you are…?”

“..Malus,” the demon hesitantly responded.

Raphael cocked his head curiously. “Malus? Doesn’t that just mean ‘bad’? Doesn’t seem very creative.”

Malus turned away sheepishly. “...No, I suppose it’s not. But...it’s the name they gave me when I fell, so…”

“Well, can’t you just change it?” Raphael asked. “It’s not like it’s God-given, so you should be able to do whatever you want with it, yeah?”

Malus pondered that for a moment. “...I suppose so.”

Then he shook his head. “But as I was saying. I’m surprised an angel like you isn’t the slightest bit concerned he may have just committed a sinful act.”

Raphael shrugged. “Hard to tell if it was sinful, really. I mean, it wasn’t exactly subtle of the Almighty to put a big apple tree in the middle of the garden with a “No Touch” sign, was it?” He turned to watch Adam and Eve as they stood their guard against a lion. “She had to have expected their curiosity to get the better of them at some point.”

Then he noticed something about the pair that made him squint. “Hey….what exactly is that in Adam’s hand?”

Malus suddenly shifted uncomfortably. “Er….well,” he stuttered. He struggled with his words for a few moments longer before finally admitting it. “I….hope you don’t mind, but I...I stole your flaming sword.”

This caught Raphael incredibly off-guard. “You _what?_” He frantically searched himself for the weapon he’d been given to defend the Gate, only to realize it truly was missing. He stared at the demon in awe as he began to quickly stammer out apologies.

“Ah...p-perhaps I should’ve asked first, I know, b-but Hell had asked me to target the guardian directly, a-and since that’s you I figured the best way to target you was to inebriate you a-and the best way to do that was--”

“I didn’t even notice it was missing….” Raphael interrupted. He stared up at Malus, awed, before noticing another surprising fact. “...And you gave it to the humans.”

“W-Well, yes, of course,” Malus stuttered. “B-Because then with it they can learn to kill, a-and be further led down the path into the life of sin,” he finishes, much more confidently than he started.

But Raphael didn’t buy it. He simply arched an eyebrow. “Is that really why you gave it to them?”

Malus looked affronted. “Of course! I’m….I’m a demon.” He flinched the moment the word left his mouth, and his next words came out much quieter. “It’s what I do.”

Raphael simply watched him and waited, until the silence forced Malus’ confession out of him.

“Okay, fine! I gave them your sword so they’d be able to protect themselves,” he hurriedly admits. “There are vicious animals out there, and it’s going to be cold, and she’s expecting already! I wasn’t just going to let them...what?”

He was caught off-guard by the angel’s expression. Raphael looked almost...impressed.

The angel just chuckled. “That was just surprisingly nice of a demon like you to do.”

Malus’ eyes trailed to the ground. “Don’t say that,” he muttered. “A demon can get into a lot of trouble for doing something nice.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that,” Raphael responded. “If you tell them what you told me the first time, they’ll be none the wiser.”

After a pause, Raphael spoke up again. “...To tell you the truth, I’ve been worrying too.”

Malus looked up, surprised, but Raphael continued. “I mean...I _did_ do something bad. Probably the worst thing there is to do; I ruined this perfect world She created for them,” he said, gesturing to Adam and Eve. “The punishment for that could be...big.”

They both knew too well what Raphael didn’t say, and Malus shifted his wings self-consciously. But before Raphael had a chance to retrace his steps, Malus responded. “Well...it was an accident, wasn’t it?” he says gently. “I’m sure they’ll understand. They can’t expect perfection all the time, can they?”

Raphael sighed. “They can,” he responded, “and they do.” They both left the conversation at that.

Eventually, they both looked up in time to see Adam plunge the flaming sword into the lion’s heart. The lion let out one last strangled roar before falling limp.

Raphael turned to Malus and smiled. “Kind of...funny that we both got it wrong, eh?” he asked, and upon Malus’ confused expression, elaborated, “I did the bad--well, worse thing, and you did the better one?”

Raphael chuckled, which caused Malus to chuckle as well, before the question fully registered in his head. When it did, the smile vanished from his face, and he turned to Raphael with fear in his eyes. “No! That...that’s not funny at all!”

His response significantly ruined Raphael’s mood, but before he could respond, a thunderclap resounded through the area. They both looked up, and droplets of the first of Eath’s many thunderstorms began landing on their faces. Raphael noticed Malus flinch at suddenly coming into contact with water, and instinctively put his wing over the demon to protect him from the rain. Surprised, Malus smiled and inched further under the wing, and together they stayed on the gate, waiting out the storm.

**Author's Note:**

> This is of course by no means an original idea, but it's my original take on it. The idea is that nothing will REALLY change--Raphael will still be Crowley and Hedwig will still be Aziraphale--but the difference in Head Offices will cause a few differences.  
Kudos, comments, and critiques are always appreciated! This is my first time ever publishing on AO3, so knowing what I need to improve on will really help :)


End file.
